Dear Sakshi,
Its been a busy phase for me and much have transpired during these days. First and foremost I began to truly understand the true beauty of music in its entirety. Through friends and family, the importance of having a dream was instilled in me, so strongly that , every waking moment of my life was enveloped by this strong desire to earn my true love of life back. Music and dance though an integral part of my life was never so much of a priority. I was never confident of my abilities, about being able to prove something , anything. My initial years in music and dance were blissful but I was but a child enthralled at the vibrant hues and charming tapestries of elegance and cultural richness. Did I understand the significance of it all then? NO! I was comfortable in my bubble and then the bubble emerged as this stone walled fort of a safe haven. Pursuing challenges, venturing out of your comfort zone, trying new things, seeking friendships, letting go, enjoying the little things, setting higher standards, understanding your abilities, your strengths and weaknesses, learning to accept and acknowledge yourself and your talents all were the small beginnings. Life changed in a huge way and to a large indispensable extent friends and family were responsible, my four year old and his loving father was responsible, :-) my loving Gurus were responsible... for the awareness, for the self confidence and for giving me wings and for making me believe in myself. Success is definitely not about the fame or the money that you may or may not make, its about the life changing influences, the soul awakening experiences and the bliss of understanding your spiritual self in a way like no other. The journey for me begins now I guess, and I will be documenting my progress, my setbacks, my creative journey and a lot more with all of you henceforth. I don't really know who all fit into the category of "ALL" . But nevertheless I have to admit with all sincerity and happiness that life has become much more easier, and more spiritual. "You need to compete with only yourself" - and what a thought that is indeed!!! . It is true that you don't live to impress the other half. and it is so important that you need to work at it every single day to work harder, with a lot of strong will and undeterred focus. When all of this falls in place , you realize that there is this innate peace within you and that nothing negative can ever hurt you again, neither unwanted drama nor senseless issues.
I think its very important to be involved in anything creative, from an early age itself and that contributes immensely towards nurturing your sensibilities and molding a better you in the long run. That's when you really understand how important it is,, that world over kids be given the opportunity to learn in a peaceful loving environment. Where art combines with education there arises an inbuilt sense of security and empathy , the lack of which is what that turns a child into a monster later on. No one is born a devil; kids are brought unto this world with all the innocence and goodness that they are destined for. But it is the people around them, the society and the living conditions of an economy that tear apart a child's dreams and strangle it in its very infancy. But that's when you realize that having been blessed with a loving environment and a fair opportunity to experience life in a secure realm, it is time to return the due to life itself. It's ok if I fail while trying, its ok if I falter, but I will move on, keep trying and smile all the way to the finish line. This one is for you God for giving me this life, for giving me amazing family, friends and so much of positive people around me, for loving me and lifting me up, for letting me know that nothing lasts forever...With lots of love and joy, this one is for you God!!! :-)
Dear Sakshi,
Life is always about the bigger picture, the small moments that add up to these humungous experiences for a lifetime. Its not just about you and whats immediately around you, its also about the place you live in, the society you are a part of and the issues that truly influence you and matter the most. But sometimes , just sometimes you feel you are caught up in a whirlwind, in a tornado of events. Eventually you may find the eye of the storm, for relative calmness, but that's like ages away and not always easily accessible. Its been a while since I penned down my thoughts, but again time is a rarity these days...:) I have finally realized that I am a hypocrite and probably sporting a split personality and with that came the insufferable silence within me...How did I know? Good Question!!! I was just thinking of this past one month, about the people I met, my work, my friends and family and whoa!!! Half the time I was pretending to be this someone else, am I making sense? Never mind, its like I am dealing with stuff I really dont like but then I pretend to like it and then I know that being honest in your opinions is probably the best thing to do, but I kept quiet coz' my being forthright was only gonna make it worse, something inside me said "Can it!" . Okay! I did for a while, but the itch to be totally frank has been bugging me for quite some time now. Wonder if that happens with all of you once in a while at least. So the conclusion is that I am being hypocritical by choice and that gives me the creeps to be honest! God! see its always ur call at the end of the day, to be,to do , or to say whatever you deem right. Letting others define what's right for you is the biggest mistake ever. Life is just so short, so lapping up the charm ,the mystery and the adventure that comes along is also very important. Being young or being physically independent is only for a short while . We are going to get old, cranky, with aches and pains and what not! But at the end of it we can avoid the frustration, the regrets, and the pain that comes with age and years of not doing what you really wanted. Everyone is quick to judge another person. What doesn't agree with you is immediately labelled as a sin or as the worst form of character ever. Why! Just like you they too have the right to live life the way they want , so lay off really!!! I am sure the next generation of kids including my lil' guy is gonna be very clear about their lives, doing what they really want in life, without bothering about who's doing what around them. You see a lot of people leading double lives, cheating their own souls, staying on in unhappiness ,of their own accord or else pretending life is this rosy pink fairy tale! is it? Nah! Its a bunch of lies. But one should be able to find a little bit of you, your soul with the moments spend with others, for them. The moment you find that the "U" is missing in the "WE" and "US" then I guess Congratulations!!! you have entered the zone of Nowhere Land where all you can do is pretend to be that someone else. Once in a while you should, I guess , step back and view your own life as an outsider and trust me on various levels that totally freaks you out! LoL! To each his own right? :) Well ok so what next, am a hypocritical diagnosed with split personality...is there a solution? Of course there is, just go out and be who you are, live life like you have just a year left to live...:) It sounds nice, but I don't know how far reasonably practical that is...If not then continue to be your own shadow coz' it hurts no one else except yourself and then again if you have already lost the "you" in the bigger picture, it doesn't really matter...Welcome to Zombie Land!!! Whew! Even now I really can't say what I feel, coz I just can't that's all... Of course I can say, I really don't have a choice, even when that tiny lil' voice at the back of my head whispers in fierce denial,"Of course you always have a choice and its urs to make" For now, that tiny voice has gone into mute mode, it does get irritating after a certain point...Apologies my feisty lil' friend in my head, so long for now!!! Adios!
