Monday, December 21, 2009


Dear Sakshi,

The latest news is that I am down with a drastic, irritating, frustrating cold....aargh!!!! Times like these are bestowed upon u by God to primarily test ur patience and conviction to not flip out....Oh dear!!! :-( well its not the cold that bothers me, its just that I can't take my usual medicines, coz u might hurt my angel...Hmmm well I just have to cope with it!!! Now when the lil' one comes I would have to take care of him disregarding any of my discomforts, no matter how worn out it makes me...well maybe this is how ur trained...I was just scared that I might catch the fever next.....but whew! that didn't happen...coz again a fever at this point of time would definitely hurt my babyyy :-) I really don't mind having to suffer, but I wouldn't want anything to hurt my angel, and that too b'coz of my health condition...I will complete my 7th month this 29th, and then just 2 months more....Gosh!!! these days I just get nervous thinking about the D day....I knw I knw!! everyone keeps telling me not to unnecessarily spook my brain...Ahem easier said than done...! :-/ Right now I just hope everything turns out just fine and I know it will, I have the blessings of all those who love me, which is very special...friends, family, ur beloved and even nature seems to shower their blessings on me...thank u all for being there for me...:-) Love ya!!! :-)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Dear Sakshi,

Gosh!!! its been almost a week na? :-) was a but busy with! this past week gave me a lot of pleasant to meet some old school time buddies, after quite a long time. Its really amazing to see how all of them have changed over the years,felt sooo happy meeting them all. Life gives u such sweet moments and even if those happen by chance,it seems a blessing and such moments will always make u smile later on in life...:-) The next gr8 event coming up is our school re-union, if it happens as scheduled.It is not yet confirmed, but a lot of us are hoping we'll be able to meet each other and hang out like old times.Its been 6 years now since I met some of my dear friends.All of us have changed, our lives have changed, yet our school memories seem to be hanging on to us. Some of us are married, some of us mothers and some of us are expectant! We had such a gr8 time during our school years..:-)

Well...coming on to our lil' one....I had a fitful week, regarding my beauty sleep....yikes!!! I am usually very energetic during the day, but come sunset and I turn fidgety, uncomfortable and terribly sleepy...Now sleep is not the problem now, I practically fall off to sleep,but then end up waking up coz' its no longer comfy on the bed...:-( Those of u who have gone through this would know...:-) I am in my mid 7th month, and sleeping on my sides is tortuous and irritating. Right now I get up to change sides often during the night and a couple of trips to the loo completes the destructive process of my! I wake up bleary eyed in the mornings and by noon I have this terrible urge to visit the Land of nod...zzzzz...zzzz....:-) Voila! its evening again and mind you, just b'coz I took a snooze doesn't mean I won't feel sleepy for the night...nope! I end feeling just as sleepy and whoa!!! just an hour after I settle into my cosy bed,my bladder alarm goes off...whew!!! guyzzz....I just don't know what to do...:-) and then my mom says with a smile, " If it makes u feel any better dear, I too had to go through all of this once upon a time.Its ur turn now." Its then when it hits me that each and every mom in this world goes through so much to bring their angel into this world, and many a time we never realise that,until when we ourselves go through the same scenario, scene by scene. Well, that's also the beauty of motherhood...:-)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Dear Sakshi,

I kind of feel really guilty about being lazy...:-) sorry guyz I know I should have written sooner...but was feeling a bit low for a couple of days...really tired and worn out for no visible reason, then when I sat down to actually write in my blog, I couldn't access the Internet...:-) Anyways here I am once again trying to gather my thoughts. First of all I must say I am really very happy about the wonderful comments I am getting from my friends...Most of them let me know through mails and sms...but it feels soo good really...I am not trying to make pregnancy sound beautiful, I record my thoughts as I have them. The previous couple of days were tough for me...with regard to sleep...Actually I seem to sleep fairly well, though I have to get up occasionally at least twice or thrice to go to the loo. During pregnancy the urgency to urinate increases manifold and you are supposed to take a lot of that keeps u awake. Moreover u are advised to sit up and then change sides while sleeping, so again ur sleep is disrupted. But do u know what I feel...:-) I feel that this is nature's way of tuning u in advance so that u will be prepared to be alert 24/7 once ur lil' one comes...:-) Actually I really don't mind losing sleep that much, but the next day when I try to take a nap,it becomes all the more difficult to sleep...the result being complete exhaustion...Now this doesn't mean u go through this scenario everyday..Occasionally this happens and then u have no control over ur body...Its just amazing, the changes that happen in ur body na? Its no mere process to nurture a life in u, its an art in itself moulded by God Himself...Now that I am in my 7th month my tummy has become bigger and u can eat only very small portions, otherwise it seems suffocating. Its tougher to walk, sit and lie down...:-) but hey I hope I am not making it sound too terrible...Its not! Its difficult for sure but then the thought of being able to see that cute lil' face very soon takes away all that discomfort and makes u feel that every minute of ur pregnancy is worth that very moment...That is the beauty and depth of motherhood...:-)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Dear Sakshi,

Yesterday night it rained heavily here, and the climate has turned really cool and comfy now...:-) Slept comparatively better yesterday, but during the day I had a bad bout of low pressure, was feeling really tired and dizzy...Maybe its because I have started my 7th month...Each time a new phase starts, I can feel my body screaming in protest, trying to adjust to it....after a week or so, it gets better and finally I fall into the rhythm....:-) Today I feel much better, so thought I would pen down some of my thoughts...:-) They say u are not to plan anything in advance for ur baby, coz' in our culture it is seen as a bad omen...I really don't knw why it is said so...but we all go with the general flow...But I keep having dreams about diapering and bathing my lil' one...hmm...mostly i don't get to see his face, just a haze...:-) and usually i end up messing it all up...yikes!!! that is when I wake up and I am like whew! its just a! :-)

I listen to a lot of music these days, not just Indian but Western as well....Right now I am listening to to a collection of saxophone melodies titled SAX MOODS....Its a compilation of various artistes like Sondheim, Albert, Presley,G.Weiss and so on...Its my dad actually who is passionate about instrumental music...Saxophone and violins basically, whereas I love the flute as well...:-) Some of my dear friends sent me a variety of music through e-mail and facebook...:-) So my lil' one is getting to hear some fine music these days..:-) Whatever the baby hears now, has a great impact on him later on. I remember my mom telling me that she used to read and read while she was carrying me, and that's probably why I ended up being passionate about English literature...:-) We have a huge collection of books from all time classics to fiction to thrillers to Harry Potter...:-) a sort of mini library...:-) Just looking at them lifts your spirits.I don't know how many of u feel the same way, but a good book with a cup of coffee and some light saxo music in the background is the perfect recipe for relaxation for me...:-)

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Friends who are family

Dear Sakshi,

Nov 29th 09' will always remain special in my heart...Many a time we have such warm, special moments in our lives and it is when we add them up, our life seems to have a glow in itself...Last Sunday, a couple of our music buddies met up for a get-together after quite a long time. I remember we were all in school back then and part of a group called Navarathna, a music group. We used to perform classical indian music extensively...but then when we all grew up, each of us became busy with our studies, our future and what not. Though the group was not officially dismantled, we all just hung in there, by then all our families had become really close and our friendship too hung in!!! :-)

This sunday after a very long time we were able to come together, and believe it or not, all of us had changed...most of them were in college now, some working, others married and moi' was preggy...:-) We were all soo happy to see each other,simply ecstatic and I for one enjoyed every minute of it, though later on I had to pay dearly for it. :-) I was so washed out that I stayed awake most of the a result!!! the next day was equally tiresome...But that's ok it was worth it all...:-) My friends were excited to see my tummy which had grown to humungous proportions and I was telling my lil' one, see how many aunts and uncles are waiting for u to come... and there came his answering kicks...Its as if he understands every single word I say...I was telling that the other day to my hubby and he was like, most babies are receptive to all languages and it is after the 1st 2 weeks that they fall into the rhythm of one particular language...fascinating isn't it? My 26th week has started and I was checking with my favourite site, for details. The site has been really helpful for me, and there seems to be so much to learn and understand... Its as if motherhood is a university in itself. Well our mothers never had such an opportunity to learn and fathom...but weren't they excellent moms!!! :-) Well this week my baby's hearing will continue to develop, and he will be able to understand all the bubbly chatter around...:-) Well today, this moment is dedicated to all those lovely friends of Navarathna, and I hope no matter how many years pass on,we'll still be able to meet up once in a remember all those wonderful times we have had as a group, as a family...:-)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Dear Sakshi,

Sometimes it is difficult to imagine that I am going to be a mother....knowing its a huge responsibility probably scares me a bit, but then I remember my mom saying that she was scared to even hold her baby,who was soo tiny and fragile...and she always used to fret about whether I had enough to eat, or why I cry at times.....that is soo true isn't it..? We as adults at times do wish to be a child! but for a baby, he is so vulnerable and helpless in his early years...I keep asking my mom, how do u know if ur baby is sick and what is bothering him, I am always full of doubts...worried whether I'll be as good a mother as my mom. My mom then tells me that a mother always knows....its called a mother's instinct and told me to go by it always...a mother always know when her baby needs something, or when he is in trouble, or when he feels sleepy or irritable...Such is the bond between a mother and her child....and that is why no matter how old u become or how sick u are, the consolation a mother can give u is irreplacable...U can never find a substitute for ur mother, can you...? :-)

Nowadays I can feel when my lil' one wakes up, when he moves around the most,when he is calm....It is a very special feeling guyz...I will never be able to explain it in so many words...ever.....At times its as if my baby knows how I feel, sometimes when he kicks me like a boxer! :-) I try to soothe him down simply by placing my hand on my belly, or by singing a tune....It works wonders!!!! u know? :-) Sometimes when I feel depressed or overly tired, his soft kicks are enough to lift my spirits...and when I touch my belly and feel his lil' legs pushing against me, I feel so warm and special, feel so loved...:-)

Being so far away from ur beloved hubby, u feel as if this lil' life connects u to him...We chat online and use the webcam as times he whistles for the lil' one and believe it or not, he gives a tremendous kick then, to let me know that he knows his dad is whistling...He is most responsive to music and then to Vinu's whistling...:-) I can't wait for that big moment when I will finally hold my bundle of joy in my arms, close to my heart and close to my dear hubby...:-) Thank u God for this wonderful gift u have bestowed upon me and my family....I realise that its God's love in me and therfore it is up to me to take care of that love in me forever....:-)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

My dear friends.....

Dear Sakshi,

The past 2 days had been unusually tiring, but not too bad....These days I have such funny!!! yesterday I dreamt that I forgot to change my baby's diapers, and he was crying totally out of control!!!...and then I dreamt I had twins!!! Gosh ! the dreams I have...impossible...:-)

The other day I talked to my dear friend from school, it had been soo long since I talked with her,my dearest friend Reshu...Friends from school have stayed with my life throughout....sure we are all scattered here and there,in India and abroad...but we have stayed close in each other's memories...The bond of friendship we hold is very special to all of us...:-) be it through orkut, or facebook, or just mails....Most of us are married, some have already moved on to motherhood, and some are still paving success in their careers, waiting for that right person to come along. How our lives have changed....yet our friendship remain the same...and that is the most special treasure in our lives...:-) Most of my friends loved my blog and were really encouraging, thank u guyz....all of u...:-) I will complete my 6th month this 29th, and move on to my third trimester...around 3 1/2 months more for the big day...:-) I hope all of u will pray for me and my lil' angel...and today I dedicate this post to all my dear dear friends, every single one of them, who have made my life special in a lot of ways...:-)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Sleep,sleep, where art thou?

Dear Sakshi,

Sleep has become like a faraway land hard to find and once found easy to lose...:-) but I am slowly getting used to it all...Initially I didnt have a sleep problem, but recently I am finding it hard to find a comfy position in bed...So many changes in ur body, mostly ones that surprise u...Imagine a whole new life sprouting in u, forming shape and beginning a life cycle that is entwined with ours for eternity...well kids, when they grow up are not gonna feel such depth to their journey, except when they themselves become parents....I am feeling that depth now, of love and harmony and most of all a new more important responsibility. The first time I felt my baby's shove or was the most amazing feeling a mother could ever have....And now I have begun to understand when my baby kicks most, when he is calm inside my womb,when he responds to me singing to him, ( i am guessing its a boy)....;-) and so on....I sing to the lil' one nowadays and can feel that he understands my voice....and then I soo want to see him, feel him and carry him in my arms....but for that I have to wait for yet another 104 dayz....:-) Till then I'll have to be satisfied with his antics inside me....:-) Hope God bless every woman with the joy of motherhood, and every mother who has tended to her young,which to me seems to be the ultimate gift of God...:-)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Dear Sakshi,
Today seems to be a dull day, the sky overcast with shadows of impending thunder and rain....Sooo where were we...yes of course! :-) after the initial happiness, came the nausea,tiredness and what not...I was like completely thrown off!!! whew!!! the first 3 months were really difficult...and then came a moment when all seemed to be lost....followed by complete bed rest, confined within myself. to protect my lil' one....The whole experience was pure torture, but then when it is for ur lil' one , I guess u tend to overlook all those discomforts....It wasn't easy though...4 months of nerve breaking rest...Now that was exactly when I realised how horrible it was to be confined to the bed...U know u always seem to want to take a break, some well deserved rest, but even that can suffocate you....:-) Finally brighter days did emerge...But this period as every other phase in life taught me an important lesson! To appreciate life as u have it, u never realise how precious every minute of our life and the people in it are to us...Vinu my dear dear hubby was a pillar of support, doing every possible thing to help me through, supporting me taking care of me, as if I were a baby!!!

It was trying for him also, what with his professional demands and family demands, he was literally torn apart...When my mom came down, it was a huge relief...the main highlight being her cooking!!!! Gosh how completely selfish of me na? But hey c'mon who doesn't love their mom's cooking...:-) It was during that time I realised that despite having all the years of experience my mom was completely tensed about me...:-) But Vinu....yes it is true that it is life's circumstances that draw u closer to ur loved one, I was beginning to see my husband in a completely new light, and then I felt special to be carrying his baby, his life in me....which has strengthened our bond even more, binding it with love, commitment and understanding....I dedicate this moment to my better half...:-)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

A new life emerges....

What a wonderful way to begin a day...:-) my dearest friend delivered a cute baby boy today at 3:15am.....It is indeed a joy to start ur day with such happy tidings...I still remember the day we both joined all seems like just yesterday...we both finished 5 years of college together, but it was only during the last two years that we really became close friends....soon we were married the same year again!!!! and ended up in the same place as well...and then we both felt the joy of becoming a mother...:-) for her the journey has moved onto the next phase,with her lil' one with!!! I still have three more months ahead of me the waiting is becoming intolerable :-) But today I am sooo happy for her , my dear friend and her lil' angel....Yesterday when I knew she had gone into active labour, I felt like it was me and not her in that labour room....gosh!!! I had a fitful night and finally when I got the call bearing the gud news...I whispered to my lil' one..."ur lil' friend has made it fine, can't wait to see u now...:-) " and I wished upon time to fly with renewed vigour, so that I can soo feel my baby in my arms...:-) All in all today seems to be bright with the sunshine of hope and new beginnings for my dear friend.....:-)

Friday, November 20, 2009

Its Positive!!!

Once we reached the hospital, i was in jitters...:-) trust i never wanted something soo much in my life...I was praying, holding Vinu's hand tight, waiting in the clinic's lab for that one precious word....and when finally the lab technician handed me the! I literally snatched it up...feasting my eyes on that one word..."Positive"....U can't imagine the exhilaration I felt, I just held that paper close to me, fearing I would lose it otherwise....:-) Does it seem too emotional guys....? well maybe...Vinu kept teasing me afterwards...but that sparkle of joy in his eyes said it all...And u know what, at that precise moment I realised that, my very own darling mother had gone through this very moment many years before....

When I first knew….

Life is full of surprises, some that you may really love, some that may prove to be a shock...The moment when I knew that a lil’ life had begun its journey in me, well….I will treasure those minutes of my life forever…You have seen so many such moments around u, but only when it actually happens to u,that u realize the beauty of such a moment. I didn’t laugh out loud, I didn’t scream in happiness, no…nothing of that sort…I just told Vinu , “ U knw wht….i think there is a baby in me….” Lol!!! He was soo happy, but both of us kept our joy in check….I knw !!! it wasn’t fair at all, but we wanted to be sure, really sure that ok! This was it!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Test of Character

An Angel...

Dear Sakshi,

Probably this is how I would address each and everyone of my dear friends in my blog,as Sakshi....:-) To begin without any formal words is the best way to begin I suppose.I am going through a most beautiful phase in my life and to be able to share it with all of u is the best part of it all....To know that an angel of God thrives in you, is a woman's most cherished dream, and it is that which completes you as a woman I feel...:-) God has gifted me with an angel and it is indeed a most blessed phase in my life. To be a mother, to feel the beauty of motherhood sounds a bit dramatic I know, but hey! those who know me know exactly how I feel...The lil' one has started kicking most earnestly, that does make me nervous occasionally, but I am getting used to all of this now....but yesss! it is gonna be one hell of a change for me to be entering this new arena of life....but that's what life is all about isn't it? new experiences and challenges that continually hone you as a complete individual...:-) so for now, I am content enjoying this wonderful feeling of being a mother...